Here's my 2 Cents on the Penny, and the Single Digit it Represents

Here's my 2 Cents on the Penny, and the Single Digit it Represents
( and after I round it down)
Here Goes Nothing!


Find a penny, pick it up. And all day long you'll have a penny.
Although now true, that idiom is suppose to end 'And all day long you'll have good luck', but the luck of the penny, and might I suggest, our lonely number '1' has all but faded.
Nobody wants the penny or the number '1" anymore it seems. One of anything just isn't enough of everything. I'm watching aTV commercial for..., let's say, a product I can spray from a can on my screen door to replace the bottom of my boat, so that it still floats. Who wouldn't want that right? Just $19.95! But wait! Well send you '2' cans, (cause you might have '2' boats and '2' screen doors). "I wasn't going to buy that crap for $20 bucks but make it '2' cans and you got a deal!"
'2' for '1' Pizzas! Second pair of glasses free! BOGO! Buy '1' Get '1' Free! Get the second '1' 50% off! Cause you're not happy with '1'. You have to have 2! Its cheaper! "Look at the money I saved by not buying '1'. '1' is crazy!
To have only '1' of something is not enough. Having only '1' means you could of done better. Hang your head in shame. But 2! People are proud of two. "I have a two car garage." Two bathroom basins. Two vacations a year. Two means you're rich. Having only '1', means you cant afford '2'. You're poor. The only place in our lives where '1' is admired is in our marriage ceremonies. 'May the '2' become '1'. '2' lives coming together to live as '1', promotes the use of the number '1' as a positive thing. But statistics show that it's really not working out. Besides when the '2' become '1' they usually wind up with '3'. So it's not really a true '1'.
'1' is the loneliest number, sang Three Dog Night in the sixties. To be '1' you're lonely. We've written song after song crying about being '1'. Alone. Incomplete. We don't want to be '1'.
When we do manage to still buy '1' of '1' thing, we feel the need to supersize it. Now that it three times bigger than '1', we can live with it.
So since we're getting rid of the penny, the former first unit in our currency, let's do away with '1' as well. We hardly ever use it. Don't really want it. Its not enough! '1' makes us look poor. And it makes us sad.
Unfortunately, if my plan is adopted, its the children who will hurt the most. Now when mom or dad counts to three before judgement is laid down, three comes '1' count sooner. 2-3 WHAM! But by adopting, the dropping of the '1', and the amount of times the threat is used daily, the parent counting to 3 will have so much extra leisure time with '1' gone.
The only '1' we will still have to put up with is that crappy all encompassing, "1 moment please". They say '1' but you know they mean many. And how long is '1' moment? It differs with everybody!
So as we bid a fond farewell to our once shiny penny and the single digit it represented, lets also be realistic and admit the time has come to also bid adieu to the suffering '1'. Oh sure we can keep it, and use it in conjuncture with other numbers, but '1' cannot stand alone. And, now it's '2' pennies for your thoughts with an equal '2' cents worth of sound advice given. Never more that awkward who owes who when '1' is asked for, but '2' is given.


Bob Niles


bobby did this