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Friday, April 15, 2011

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Pookies Purple Pickle Popsicle Pizza

Pookies Purple Pickle Popsicle Pizza

by Bob Niles

Pookies Purple Pickle Popsicle Pizza,
found in your neighborhood grocers freezer.
It's purple and cold, pickley and round
with all of the cheese it's over three pounds.

Now Pookie you know she makes them herself,
from a recipe hidden way back on the shelf.
The items kept secret, known only to her,
and her small yellow cat that burps when it purrs.

A pickle Popsicle pizza, all purple and round
is made from purple pickles, grown and then ground.
To make a purple flour, that's sour to taste
then add ten Popsicles and make a thick paste.

Of the secret recipe, this is all that I know,
except for the water used, it's melted from snow.
There's also something used from under the sink
she buys from Hanks Hardware, I believe, or I think.

Then everything is stuffed in an old toilet bowl
that's not being used because of the mould.
An outboard motor is then used for the mix,
it spits and it sputters, it needs to get fixed.

A cloud from the motor, hangs thick in the air,
it smells like old oil and buffalo hair.
Bang goes the motor, sput sputter, spit spat,
Pookie yells to her helpers "There that should do that!"

Then the dough's dug out with a shovel and pick,
at this stage it's purple, it's shiny, it's thick.
Just a teaspoon of dough in an old garbage can,
secret yeast, special sauce and two rubber bands.

Then the old garbage cans are taken downstairs
placed tightly together, then piled with chairs.
The dough starts to bubble and grow huge in size,
it pushes the tops, and squirts out the sides!

And down in the basement it sits for three weeks,
The Purple Pickle Popsicle Pizza, of which that I speak,
but before you make pizza, you must flatten the dough
and Dads old blue pickups the best way I know.

The doughs placed in bags filled with old pickle skins,
then taken outside while the pickups backed in.
The bag is then stuck behind the trucks rear left wheel.
It's in reverse, "Hit the gas!" How the tires then squeal.

Back-n-forth in the truck, Pookie squished the bags.
For an hour, then it's finished, then taken inside.
There it's placed on a special white porcelain top,
well not quite, it's the bathtub, minus chain and the stop.

The bathtub is needed, cause it's shiny and smooth,
the dough cannot stick, cause the soaps not removed.
But we have had some problems after Dad takes a bath,
there's black hairs in our dough,....we think from his back.

All problems aside, we start all our toppings,
melted Popsicle juice, is the first on the offering.
It's poured by the bucket on top of the dough,
a syrupy mix that runs thick, and runs slow.

And then there's the cheese, how it's piled so high.
It's made from moose milk, we get from this guy.
He's got 14 moose, and a tall milking stool,
At six bucks a quart, this guy is no fool.

Then the purple pickles,....hard to say without spitting,
are placed on the pizza,....again with the spitting!
Each one is placed careful, not to overlap,
in the letter 'P'... Pookies says she likes that.

Now it's off to the oven set at a million degrees,
where it's partially cooked, and then it's quick freezed.
It's then placed in boxes, we keep just out back,
Pookie re-cycles cardboard, of which she has stacks.

It's then wrapped in plastic, and a stickers stuck down.
'Pookies Purple Pickle Popsicle Pizza it's the Best Thats in Town!'
Then it's shipped to the grocer, but not driven by truck,
it's over night delivery, by mail, with some luck.

So next time your shopping for food, that's considered junk,
but cannot decide on, or think of, or thunk?
Try the perfect snack of which that I speak of,
'Pookies Purple Pickle Popsicle Pizza!'

bobby did this