When we Played Tag,...Dad Drove!
Fathers Day has to be the easiest celebration to plan for of the year. A celebration, that if left up to dad, would not have to go ahead at all. Cause really all dads want is just to be left alone.
Fathers Day was brought about to complement Mothers Day as Wikipedia would have us believe. And it wasn't a guy who brought it about, but a woman. A daughter that wanted to honor her dad. I mean what's he going to say after she had gone to all this work? "No thanks honey. If you really want to do something special just leave me alone." (the guy had raised 6 kids by himself! Of course he wants to be alone)
My Dad never wanted a fuss, heck he didn't want kids! Us boys, he had four, would ask dear old Dad what he would like from us for Fathers Day and each year he would respond 'Get adopted by another family!' Ah what a kidder.
His idea of a perfect Fathers Day would be after watching an afternoon of golf he get off the couch to find a perfect outline of himself in potato chips. A day that I myself would like to achieve. But every year we would try to do something special for him because that's what moms like. So why not dads? Moms like to get dressed up and stand in line with a lot of other dressed up moms and wait for their name to be called in a restaurant on their special day. Why wouldn't dad like something special like that?
I guess we missed the subtle clues through the year that Dad had wanted just to be left alone on his special day. Like when we played tag and he drove. Our first tubby toy was a plug in radio. And Dads favorite game with us was 'Hide-n-go.....'. No,... it was just Hide-n-go. He never came looking for us.
Little things he'd say like 'I made three just like you. I can take you out and make another and no one would miss you. Your Mothers the only one stopping me'. What a kidder.
It's not that he didn't do things with us he just had his own style of doing things. Like when it snowed he'd take us out bumper hitching. To you who might not know its grabbing hold of the rear bumper of dads car while squatting on your feet and he pulls you along behind in the family Pontiac on the snowy road. Big in the 60s, but now nosey neighbors would probably phone the cops on such a parent. And especially my Dad, cause he made us hold the front bumper! 'Keep your arms real stiff!' he'd yell. What a kidder.
We were never a huggy-feely family that shared a lot of emotions to let old Dad know we loved him. I remember once hugging my Dad, which greatly surprised him. Had I waited till he was out of the shower...?
My Dad was a kidder, he loved to laugh. And that one of the things I really enjoyed growing up was his laughter. A house is so much better with laughter. My happiest childhood memories revolve around my Dad when he was happy. And he wasn't happy that much. It's not like he raised us in fear of punishment, but he carried the world on his shoulders and did more worrying than one human should possibly do. So laughter was a welcome change.
If there was ever a time that I had the chance to show my Dad how much I appreciated him it wasn't on a Fathers Day, but was when he and I drove up to Fort St. John in northern British Columbia together. I was doing a plumbing job there and he came along for a two day drive and then I flew him back home. The scenery and one on one time spent together for the two days was a time he more than once thanked me for and I was lucky he gave me the chance to do it before he passed away
I've been blessed with several days in my life that I would describe as a day that I'm so proud to be a father to each one of my kids. It hasn't been with cards, gifts or dinners bought. But something that each one of them has done within their own lives, that made me proud and made me think this dad thing is all worth while. It's alright.
I wasn't the best son a dad could have, and deserved the threat of being taken out and another one made just like me. Thank you Mom! And my kids at times came close to that same threat. But they like me came around before it was too late.
So this Fathers Day phone dad, buy him a dinner, play a round of golf, take him fishing or just tell him you understand and leave him alone. That's what my kids do for me. For Fathers Day is not found in days paid for and expected.....but in days that they, the kids, have worked for and made sacrifices within themselves to achieve their desired goal. And then, hopefully once from each child during your lifetime they make you so proud that you get the chance to stick out your chest and say 'THAT'S MY KID! Do you know what they just did?"
All the work, prayers, hopes and dreams a dad puts into a kid suddenly sprouts. That's Fathers Day.
Bob Niles
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