Fwd: Hang loose and stuff that cell phone in your centre console

                        Hang Loose and stuff that cell phone in your centre console

Every year new words, slang phrases and items invented with new names are added into our vocabulary.  And every year I seem to be asking the kids what the heck is, or does £%#€¥ mean. And because of modern slang I now can no longer go out in the garage and continue twerking around with the old video camera. I can't keep up with all the hip new slang! Nor do I want too. But I don't want to get caught twerking myself in the garage either.
 Besides my bad self another thing that hasn't kept pace with today's modern society is the hand gestures we use while driving. We've been using old outdated hand gestures for far too long.    
Our parents two car family of the 60s and 70s never had to deal with such distracted drivers as what is on our roads today. In their day all they needed were two hand gestures while driving and we seem to still be utilizing the same two outdated hand and finger suggestions. Thumbs up (seldom used) or the ever popular 'yer number 1 buddy!'
In the approval of ones driving in my parents day the thumbs up was the common form of praise. Not seen that often on today's busy roads. It's the centre finger extended upwards, was and still is the most common hand gesture out on our highways and byways that we tend to see most often today. I myself have been the recipient of its usage many times and for many different reasons. I think we need to be more specific and to the point in physical gestures on today's roads
One of the biggest problems found on modern roadways is the usage of hand held phones while behind the wheel. It's been scientifically proven we suck at driving when talking on a phone. This writer can profess that he too knows this for a fact within himself. And it's also a fact for any  #%€%# driver that dares get in front of me with a cell phone in his face. I think it's high time for new hand gesture to be implemented to specifically convey our displeasure for hand held phones. Oh sure we could use the old tried and true one finger salute but it's so often overused and for so many different other things which might cause confusion to our modern cell phone caller.
 The hand gesture I want to implement is, and here I must apologies to the Hawaiians, parts of Brazil, Puerto Rico, surfers and now apparently hang gliders. For I want to take the friendly hello, hang loose Shaka hand gesture and use it to relay to the driver in front of me to hang up (not loose) and stuff that cell phone in their centre console. The raised thumb and little finger with the other three fingers folded under depicts the old phone receivers and strikes a clear meaning to everyone, except, of course, for the above mentioned. The Shaka hand formation held to either ear, while laying on the car horn, is a clear indicator of you mimicking them on the phone. Then after you have their attention remove the hang loose gesture ( which is now the 'stuff that cell phone in your centre console' gesture) from the side of your face, wiggle it from side to side, and stuff it in your centre console. This will clearly and unmistakably depict your feelings to the offending driver.
I know it's not the shape of a modern cell phone but if I open my hand flat and hold it to my ear (like a cell phone) and then pull it away, point to it and do a clockwise counter clockwise turn of my hand,...well it looks like I'm doing some sort of East Indian dance.        (You just did it didn't you?)
This new hand gesture can also adopt to get off your cell phone camera while driving by simply bending the thumb up and down (in the 'stuff that cell phone in your centre console' gesture) like your clicking a shutter.   
To visually suggest to someone that's texting and driving, while they're still alive, honk the horn and extend all finger in a wiggly motion and combine it with the current 'yer number 1 buddy!'  hand gesture. Here combining a golden oldie with the latest hand finger combination is to create a truly well understood physical gesture.
On the odd occasion that someone might do you a good turn on the road I would suggest you try and do a good twerking together with them. My kids say people are doing it all over the social media thingy. What better way to say 'You're doing a good job on the road!' than twerking together. Just hold out your camera phone at arms length and get them in the picture with you.   And that's exactly what I did when a guy let me cut in front of him. We stopped at a light side by side I rolled down my window and ask if I could do twerking with him. After some strange looks and a shrug of the shoulders he agreed. Only thing is when I took out my camera phone to set up the shot he gave me a really strange look! So I say WTF? (why the face?) But soon we line up the shot and then this the guy behind us lays on his horn and gives us the hang loose sign bending his thumb up and down. So I flip him off and yell at him to....oh ya,...oops. Good thing he wasn't an ISIS guy and photo bomb us.

Bob Niles