Fwd: Jesus Turned the Water Into Wine Not Knowing Barabus Had a Drinking Problem

            Jesus turned the water into Wine not knowing Barabus had a drinking problem

A phone conversation between Pastor Jim and church member Mrs. Jenkins

" Hello Pastor Jim, how can the Lord and I help you today? Oh, sister Jenkins so good to hear from you. Say we didn't see you in the service last Sunday. Come to think of it it's been some time now since we've had the pleasure. But I do see your lovely daughter in Sunday School every week. She's such a delight, always so full of Gods energy. At least I think it's God's. Could be the cookies and milk acting out after their snack time. What's that?...That's the reason you're calling ........I'm sorry to hear little Mercedes is having a problem. Allergies you say? Eggs and milk? Well she wouldn't be the first, when my boy was young he couldn't drink cows milk. We had to buy goats milk or he'd get a real belly ache. I'm sorry to hear your little Mercedes is allergic...... What's that she not allergic? Intolerant? She's intolerant of eggs and milk. Well we'll keep an eye on her at snack time then......That's really not good enough? She could by mistake drink milk? I'm sure she would know if it was milk in the glass sister Jenkins. Maybe at home you could set up three glasses, one with milk, one with water and the other with orange juice and see if she could identify the glass of milk.......Pardon? ....You've already tried something like that? She picked the cream did she? They're kinda the same aren't they? Not a good test group I'm thinking. Maybe if.....Sorry?....You'd like us to stop us serving milk to the rest of the kids and remove the cream off the adults coffee cart as well. Water or juice and a powdered creamer in their place,...I see. So you want the 150 kids and again probably that many adults to stop partaking of any dairy products in church?....As well as the cookies?...No cookies either!? I see,.. so many have eggs in them and again little Mercedes could mistake an apple slice for a cookie. Does Mercedes need glasses?.............But...........I do apologize. That was not very sensitive of me. I didn't know she thought her grandmothers glasses looked funny and she'd rather be dead than to wear glasses. But sister Jenkins if I cut out the cookies, milk and real cream in their coffee I'm going to lose half my congregation! They are a fickle bunch! Maybe if you actually came to church and sat with your child to make sure .... What's that? You're a very busy woman? And no I don't know how hard it is to get a tee time on a Sunday morning. But Barbara we don't want you to take your daughter to Sunday School. We want you to BRING Mercedes to Sunday School. Then everyone would be happy, drinking milk and coffee with real cream and eating cookies all under your watchful eye......Water, juice, celery sticks, carrot sticks and powdered cream makes you happy while your daughters here and you're on the golf course. Right. Well Babs I'll bring it up to the board and see how they feel.... Yes I know your brother-in-laws bosses neighbour is on the board. He's told me what a...he said he knew you.....Yes he's very important to our church. As you are Babs. We are all Gods creations tolerant and intolerant of people,......sorry I meant eggs or dairy. Well good bye then I guess we'll see your taillights this coming Sunday?....What's that? Yes I guess it will depend on a vote for you. The salvation of Mercedes versus eggs and dairy for the multitudes. Do we really have to take it this far? ... Yes I understand she is your only child. But YOU have to understand you're making this hard for God's only child's business......Absolutely! That's right He does have a dairy farm just out of town on Hwy. 97.????? You might of seen their billboards 'Got Milk Got Eggs Got God? And I gotta go. Good Bye."
"Oh Dear Lord! Do you hear what I have to deal with? Intolerant! Not allergic. No milk and cookies she wants me to turn them into juice and carrot sticks! This would never happen to You!" ' What He turned the water into wine?!! Doesn't He know Barabus has a drinking problem? I'm sorry you'll have to switch the wine to Gatorade or the weddings over!'

Bob Niles