Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Fwd: Pumpkins, Electoral Signs and Christmas Trees

>
>
>
>
>
> Pumpkins, Electoral Signs and Christmas Trees
>
> After Halloween, pumpkins look ridiculous hanging around the front yard. Their once broad grin and bright triangular eyes melt into themselves and give the appearance of a sixties movie star in need of a facelift. The same is true of Christmas trees and electoral signs of hopeful candidates. After their eventful day has past they're garbage
> Get them out of the yard! Get them out of the house! Get them off the streets! We don't want to see them anymore!
> To rid yourself of a pumpkin you just drop it into the new handy-dandy two wheeled Green Cart and TA -DAH it's gone. The dead tree that was once heralded in high esteem is back on the car roof off to the firemen who kill it some more by chopping it to mulch. But the election signs are not so easily trashed. No Green Cart or mulching for them. But they can be used for many projects around the house, or they can be shaped and formed to make a statement in the community.
> My Dad for example, back in the day when election signs were plywood, would support the candidate with party colours closest to our house colour. He didn't care what the party stood for he just wanted the plywood to build a crappy shed and fence. Both shed and fence matched in colour and also, unfortunately, vertical stability.
> Today's election signs are now made from plastic coated cardboard that have no shed or fence building qualities. Why a big gust of hot air would send them flying! (makes you wonder how they made it through the campaigning). So now one has to get creative to recycle and reuse this free windfall. Such as,...turning the sign around in your front yard and painting 'FOR SALE' on it. Very popular choice in Richmond. Or you could collect the signs and trade them with your friends. 'I'll trade you two Conservatives for a Green Party.' (much rarer)
> You could use the back of the signs and cut out pumpkins, snowmen and other outdoor decorations for the upcoming holidays. Save them for next summer and make a slip-n-slide for the family. What could give greater pleasure than sliding your butt across the face of that bum you elected now in Ottawa.
> Why not have the school kids make snow geese from them and flood their school fields with them so the real grass eating, pooh fouling field fowls can't.
> Use the back of the sign to write your appraisal of city hall completely in your native tongue with a rating from 1-10 at the bottom. Place the sign on the lawn at city hall and let them figure out if it's good or bad or the price of a dozen hot wings downtown.
> Be sure to save a least one election sign of the person you elected to represent you in Ottawa. And after a period of time (sometimes short, sometimes a little longer) when they screw up on an issue you hold dear, paint over all the sign except for their smiling face. Then again completely in your own tongue write 'I put this bum in Ottawa and all I got was this crumby sign!'
>
> Bob Niles
> 8100 No. 3 Rd.
> 604-761- 2466

No comments:

Post a Comment