The Bad Bad House Sitter

The Bad Bad House Sitter

With summer holidays soon upon us neighbors sometimes think they can leave their most valuable possession, their home, cared for by the guy next door.
Fools! At least my neighbors are. They go to China twice a year trusting I'll care for their home while they're away. And I care for their home like it was my own. I move in. I take full advantage of the situation presented me. And this can sometimes blow up in my face as you'll read.
Enjoy.


Are you like me? Don't you just hate it when your neighbors come home early from holidays, especially when you've been entrusted with the upkeep of their property while they were away.
You're in their house (because they forgot to lock all the windows) having a long hot shower, when some idiot comes in their driveway and lays on the horn. You run from the shower ( soaking wet because you forgot to bring a towel with you) and wrap yourself in the curtains to find out what nincompoop making all the hullabaloo. And it's them!
Their horn is blaring because your brother-in-laws broken down motor home is blocking the driveway.
You quickly paste your clothes on ( it looks like that when you dress wet) and run out the back door, in an effort to hide your illegal entry, forgetting to remove Cindys (wife to Bob, the next-door neighbor) shower cap. "Welcome home!" you fein as you suddenly remember, and remove the ill-gotten rain cap. And it's at this very moment you realize the gravity of the situation.
The motor home's in the driveway because it's transmission is in their carport. An electrical cord is running from their house to your teenagers room to power some very bright lights (some sort of science project he says). Their 16 piece patio furniture set is still at your mother-in-laws. Your filling your in ground pool from their hose. There's still a load of laundry in their washer, one on top of their dryer and one in the dryer. You still haven't cleaned up from the party you had in their back-yard two weeks ago. The grass you said you'd cut and water is so far just an empty promise. All of a sudden you remember something about making a commitment to feed and water their cat Mitsy. And you've rented their basement out to a non-English speaking, perhaps Eastern European, perhaps drug underworld, perhaps violent and somewhat shady character till the end of the week.
Lucky for you your neighbors also don't speak English, which for a time (or maybe longer) is going to save your butt. Oh they'll look at you funny for a long time, and never leave anything in you care again (something the wife already knew) and sometime in the distant future they'll get over Mitsy, hopefully.


Bob Niles.



bobby did this