Grandpas Celebration

Grandpas Celebration

"Papa you missed the bestest party." shout whispered Amber as she removed her coat and threw it on his bed.
"Honey Papa's sleeping remember. Don't be running around and climbing on his bed." Cautioned Ambers Mom as she hung Ambers coat up.
"But Mom he's been asleep so long! It's time for him to get up...don't ya think? He slept right through Grandpas party. You missed a cool party Papa! It was in this really neat place! But Mom and Daddy said I had to be really quiet. I asked why? Cause they told me it was going to be a celebration. But nobody really was happy or looked like they were in the mood to celebrate Grandpas party."
"But for some reason Grandpa wasn't there." Amber stated as she pushed the big chair up to Papas bed. She faced the chair and with both hands pulled and kicked her way to a sitting position. "There was a big picture of Grandpa taken back before I was even thought of, Daddy said. Why he even looked like Daddy! But he was on a horse and Daddy has never been on a horse or he would of told me. I heard people say they couldn't believe he was gone.....so he must of been there and had to leave to maybe get hay for a horse."
"Amber liked that idea and giggled as she took a card off the little table by the bed and pretended to read it. "It says here Grandpa went and bought grass for a horse named Chicklett, the oldest horse in the world, because it was born before anyone thought of Amber!"
She returned the card back to the table but now upside down. "Boy Papa you sure got lots of hoses and wires and stuff all over ya. Grandpa has that same Halloween spaceman mask as you do in his big hospital. I told him it was a spaceman mask and he laughed so much he coughed and spit up something right in his mask. I was grossed out but I pretended I wasn't. So if you're going to laugh....let me know."
"Honey Papas tired, you know he can't talk,and he might not be able to hear you." Ambers Daddy explained as he combed his Grandad's hair.
"Ah that's okay,Mom says I talk enough for two people. Ain't that right Papa?"
Amber then carefully crawled off the chair and pushed and pulled it over to the window. She made sure it faced toward the garden and pond. The plastic bird and
deer with the little guy under a mushroom always made her smile. Happy with its location she then hop skipped back to her Mom.
"Mom can you close the door? I gotta tell Papa a secret about Grandpas party. You know what Papa?... I saw Daddy cry. Sorry Daddy but it's true. But it's okay cause I saw Uncle William cry too. And Grandma really cried! I can't believe they'd be so mad grandpa left. Seems he had a better place to go to and people did not like that at all. I was just happy when I heard he wasn't in the hospital anymore. I bet he comes to our house for dinner! You come too Papa we can read books and color my Princess Pony Book. And then we can laugh at Grandpa being silly."
"Amber,....Grandpas in a far better place now, he's in heaven with Nana. Remember we talked about this." her Mom said as she scooped Amber to her lap. "We won't be able to see him anymore. But he'll look down from heaven and watch us to see we're alright."
"No Mom! Dad and you were talking in the car and I heard you say that Papa and Grandpa will soon be sharing the same room! So I made room for Grandpa to sit in the chair by the window! He probably got tired of that big hospital and the stinky smells. Well to be honest it kinda stinks here too."
"Amber!"
"Well it does..kinda." She crawled off her Moms lap and walked to he other side of the bed noticing everything as she went. Seeing a fly, she followed it to the window and climbed back on the chair. "How come your bed has wheels Papa? Mom, will Grandpas bed have wheels too?" Ambers little voice starts to tremble. "Mom are you and Dad telling a fib about Grandpa? How come you said he's in heaven if you also said he's going to be here?"
"What we meant Amber is....Papa is really sick. He might go to heaven to be with Nana soon. And Grandpa."
"Mom,..if Grandpa is in heaven he won't get to see me learn to ride the pink bike Grandma and him bought me for Christmas. And that wouldn't be fair. No one else would play dollies with me ever again in my whole life! Who's going to make me cheesy noodles everyday after pre school? You said he would do that as soon as he got better!"
"I'm sorryAmber sometimes things happen to grandpas.
"You still have a grandpa! Why are you telling me mine is gone?" she began to cry as she turned her face into the chair. I love Papa, but I love Grandpa more. Sorry Papa."
"Amber Papa has been gone for years. It's only because of all these tubes and wires that he's still alive. Papa's been in this bed your whole life. He can maybe smile and you can hold his hand but nothing else."
"Mom that's all I want to do with Grandpa right now. And forever if I could. I could tell him about all the things I do and get in trouble for cause he's never mad at me. I could come here and hold his hand when I'm scared, and I could squeeze it twice to let him know I love him. And then I'll grow up and have my own kids and they could see Grandpa and talk to him like I talk to Papa Mom!
"Come here Amber. I know that sometimes life is hard on kids. No one knows why God likes some people more so he takes them to heaven first. But now Grandpa doesn't have a sore back, and he can breathe again. He doesn't hurt anymore. You want that for him...right?"
Amber wiped her nose and runny eyes on her sleeve while her Mom dug for a tissue from her purse. "Mom can you write Grandpa and note for me?" Again using her sleeve as a tissue. "Im kinda mad he left without our special handshake, but don't write that. Can you write.....Dear Grandpa Buddy, sorry you missed your party but I guess you had to go to heaven. I saw you on a horse. You looked like Daddy. We're visiting Papa and I put a chair by the window for you if you ever come. Remember that little stone guy in the garden...he's still there. You should of seen how polite I was at your party. I thanked your friends for coming. I told them you had to leave to ride your horse. And after when we had juice and cake and I went off in a corner and tooted quietly like you told me to do."

"Hi Grandpa buddy, you didn't get to see me start school today. I'm six now. How's Papa and you doing today? I finally learned to tie my shoes so now you don't have to bend over to do it next time."

"Hi Grandpa buddy, I don't have Lulu my blanket anymore. I'm grownup Mom says. I rode that pink bike that you and Grandma got me without my training wheels. Remember from a long time ago? I still miss you."

Hi Grandpa,...Buddy. I found this letter I was suppose to send you, somehow, but I guess it was that Mom hid it away. She wrote in it three times for me after your funeral, but then we forgot about it.
I found it in a box of Moms, amongst a few of her treasured things. A box filled with old pictures, letters and cards. There was also a drawing I did of you and me on a rainbow.
I have kids of my own now. Three. I even named the boy after you. Kids tease him with a name like Grandpa. Ha ha got you. I remember how you'd love to laugh. We're really proud of John, I think you would be too. I wish you would of known him. I wish you could of been around longer. I've thought of you often.
I know you passed away when I was only four but I never forgot your stories of the Bible and the silly voices you used teasing me. Our play fights on the bed and the trips to the playground. We shared a short moment in time together but every one of them was special. I was very lucky to have a grandpa like you.
Dad is just like you with my kids. I sometimes wonder where he gets the energy. He sure pays for it later with all the aches and pains.
Thank you for being the best grandpa, even if it was for a short time. I was too young to fully know what you meant to me. There's a special kind of love a child has for a grandparent. Shared by no other. A special part of your heart that only a grandparent can touch. Everything you taught me and did with me was done with patience. You probably sacrificed days of pain for but a brief moment of pleasure in our play. You treated every word I said as if it were spun of gold. You laughed the loudest and longest at my attempted jokes. And no one could dance like us, could they? Our imagined stories took twists and turns that only a four year old could make, and a sixty year old would support, with sounding trumpets.
Grandpa,....thank you for all the things you shared with me. You made every visit special. It was like you knew each day was numbered and you were living with single digits.
This letter was all I could think to do at age four to tell you what you were missing. It wasn't fair you left so soon. We had so much more to experience together if time had of been on our side.
Amber placed the letter the letter in her Moms hands and had them close the coffin lid. Her whole world had turned blurry as healing tears flooded her eyes. She knew in her heart they were looking down at her as she said her goodbyes to her Mom, and now ending grandpas letter. Dabbing her eyes with a tissue she turned and went to sit with her family in the front row.
Her youngest daughter climb on her lap and held her face in one hand.
"Mom don't cry, grandma's watching with some guy on a horse."


Bob Niles