Fwd: Mother's Day is Father's Day as well

                                  Mother's Day is Father's Day as well.

 We say it with flowers, cards, balloons, banners and chocolates that our moms are the best in the whole world. Nobody anywhere this side of the moon has done more for you, has helped you through crisis after crisis and kept smiling but your mom. From diapers to  diapers to diapers starting with you, then your kids and then their kids, mom has changed them all. She's been there for every boo-boo and mishap. Through every cold and sickness she's sacrificed her own health to care for you. There is none better than mom.
And how do we thank this woman of such valor? We get her all gussied up and have her stand in line with many other gussied up mothers at your favorite restaurant. After that we may, (weather permitting) take her for a lovely walk to let her know, and to prove to her, you still remember how she taught you to walk.
And where's dad through all this? He's on the couch leisurely creating an outline of himself in potato chips while watching TV. Dads right where he wants to be. Left alone, just him and his stinky dog watching about 89 different TV channels. But yet watching nothing at all. Every time a commercial hits he changes channels, then forgets where he was in his two dimensional life. He starts something else, then it too has a commercial and he gets lost again. But old dads having a ball!
Mom meanwhile has gotten her patten pink pumps plastered in shi., poo from walking across a soft spring lawn in Minoru Park. I try with some success to clean off her patten pink shoe while she stands like a stork using my shoulder for support.
"We should of stayed on the artificial playing field to avoid this mess" I huffed as I her gallant knight placed the slipper on her foot.
"Yes" she noted in hindsight, "But with my luck the artificial field would of probably caught me up with an artificial plastic poop" she joked.
 We continued on to more supportive paved paths that wound through flowered gardens. She's marveled, laughed and shivered in the cool air as she delighted in in the May flora and the company of her offspring.
"Much better than spending the day with your father" she states as she squeezes my hand in affirmation.
The day got longer and longer for mom as it went from splendor to feeling like a queen to my face hurts from smiling to I wish I was home so I can use my own washroom.
'Meanwhile back at the ranch' dad has had his best day of the year once again. The one day of the year that it wasn't up to him to make sure it was 'happy wife happy life'. This day for him was all about what he loved. Alone at home! A clothing optional, no need to close the bathroom door, don't have to say excuse me, crank up the music, slip back to the 80s and move to the grove. No ones watching, cause no ones there! Even the neighbors are spared his Fruit of the Loom dance tribute to the man formally known, and now again known as Prince. He's committed the unwritten no-no of pulling the curtains shut while the sun is shining. But he don't care, cause no ones there.
At this point even the dog's feeling uncomfortable seeing his master and best friend slip so far from the every day norm. Having to dance with him as they both howl at....? Who knows? But it's fun to howl! And howl they do.
At some point during 'Little Red Corvette' dad's dance move directs him at the kitchen. The very room his wife mentioned to clean up after himself in. The very room in which he has very much polluted  with his 9 pot and pan lunch masterpiece. A creation of leftovers, cold cuts, blue formage, canned meat and a three item lunch special from Wing Kees Canton Palace. These items of meats, veggies, cheeses, sauces, and secret oriental spices all combined for a sandwich of Biblical proportions. A sandwich you should close the bathroom door for, but because of the current amount of beings at the abode, don't. And instead relish the breeze.
Having seen and remembered that he should clean up after himself he dances himself and  the dog over to the kitchen. It's here the dog bows out as the slippery tile presents new challenges that even the opportunity to howl won't overcome. Dad is now solo, still only wearing knee high black socks and tighty white-ies as he begins the  insurmountable task of correcting this wrong he created in his wife's kitchen. However, he's not slowed by menial labour as he continues creating dance moves that only he and Buddy (dog) could appreciate.
That is until he hears "Hey Fred Astaire! You need more soap!"
The wife! She's home! She's,....in the bathroom. She sticks her head in the kitchen, makes an observation, continues on to the bathroom.
"I had the best day ever!" the bathroom door says. "We went for lunch at this place the kids like. Very expensive! Then we walked around the park till it got too cool then went for a drive past the old house on Camsell. Everything's changed there. New houses everywhere. How was your day? Did you get up to much? I'll clean up that mess in the kitchen after I change." the bathroom door continues as dad turns off the music.
He didn't hear much of what she said but understood everything. Mom's happy. She had the best day with the kids. But, he interjects to himself, not as good as mine.

Bob Niles