My Business is you Business

This is a letter I sent to our local paper in regards to our sewage rates.

My Business is your Business


Dear Mr. Sewage Plant Operator,
As I'm sure you know by now, there has been some change ups in the way we do our business with you. Let me assure you that we in no way are unsatisfied in how you've handled our business in the past. And that we wish to continue sending our business your way, but, we have had to cut down on deliveries.
We at our end have never charged for shipment sent in the past. And with the rising gas costs we have still managed to keep our gas at a constant. What's causing the change in deliveries is the rising cost of the H2O.
As you know H2O is a requirement in the delivery of the business we've built up here. And up until last year, for us, we were paying a flat rate on water. But this year we were set up with a water meter to accurately gauge the amount of deliveries we were sending your way. The numbers (1and 2) sent your way are staggering!
Judging by our deliveries you'd figure we have a booming business here. And some were. But our product shipped were in bits at a time, or sometimes not at all! Sometimes we'd just ship the paperwork and no goods!
Well no more. From now on any delivery you receive from us will be all quality. No more half filled orders or paperwork with no product. We will still keep gas at our regular rate and you will never more get a late night delivery from us.
Now for the bad news.
The deal you have with our business is management. We send our business your way and you decide how or how not to handle it. All fine. And for doing this you are paid an comfortable annual fee. But, now we have to pay for every drop of water it takes to ship it to you. What we here (we being the people at the high end of the pipe) would suggest is a delivery rebate of some kind. Because if we're just giving you the business minus the H2O, well,......your business is going to slow down. Stop.
You need us to buy water to deliver our product your way. My business is your business and your business is my business delivered to your door. Well maybe not to your door unless you had you son-in-law help you with the plumbing too.
The way I see it is you eventually place the water I ship your way back in the ocean, then from that ocean form clouds which produce rain which I buy back to ship you my business. Do you see where I'm going?
It's that whole vicious circle thing. I keep buying back the same product that I give you to manage so that I can again buy it back again. I buy your rainbows and liquid sunshine to ship my raw product to you. You then turn all the water I use to ship my product back to you to rainbows and liquid sunshine again.
It's criminal I tell you! I'd go to the police but they're dealing with their own crimes. Someone broke in to the police station last week and stole every toilet! Now here it is a week later and they still have nothing to go on. (sorry)
Please advise me if you are willing and able to give any on your end in this matter, because up until now it's my end that's been doing all the giving.

Thank-you
Bob Niles