Fwd: How Cold Is It?

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> How Cold Is It?
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> I've concluded my extensive scientific survey on how people are dealing with, or what they've experienced during this cold snap. When asked 'How cold is it?' I have found people to be very resourceful, observant and inventive in their pursuit of internal warmth.
> The following are my observations.
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> It's So Cold.....
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> Religious leaders are worried. Congregation feels some things said about Hell are not really that bad.
> Hitchhikers are holding up picture of thumb.
> A flasher ran up to old Mrs Ferguson and described himself.
> City Halls approval rating has spiked! From52% to 85% once the wind chill is factored in.
> Teddy bears are being shoved from beds in favor of electric appliances.
> Kids are playing outside only as far as electric cord will go.
> I'm wearing so many clothes that when I slipped on the ice and fell over I had to wait for someone to roll me back home.
> I eat all the wrong foods with the hope of heartburn.
> I'm kissing people with the flu virus with the hope of coming down with a fever.
> My grand kids thought I grew a goatee. Turned out to be frozen drool.
> Groping on city busses is now accepted as long as your wearing woolly mitts.
> Bedbugs promise not to bite as long as you let them cuddle in your jammies
> Smokey the Bear grabbed a box of matches and ran into the forest.
> Silly Putty turned serious!
> P Diddy while visiting our fair city changed his name to Frozen P.
> It's no longer the finger...I got the mitt while driving.
> I went to shower....I got hail.
> Firemen can't get to burning buildings. It seems crowds want to hang around someplace warm.
> I won't drive my grand kids to school any more. I've decided they don't need an education.
> I don't use my seatbelt in the car anymore. Who needs a belt when you're frozen to the seat!
> I've found sitting on a smoldering compost heap is not that bad.
> All the ornaments I've hung on the Christmas Tree have all crowed around the top to get warm from the glow off he star!
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> Bob Niles
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