I'm Only Trusting Walter Cronkite

I'm Only Trusting Walter Cronkite


'The only way I'm going to back up looking straight ahead into a TV screen is if Walter Cronkite himself is right there on that TV waving me to the right or left, to guide me in reverse.'
Words spoken by my Dad when asked why he still backs the car up looking out the back window.
There is no way he would ever trust a camera to do what he can do by just turning his head around. He still believes TV is full of communists left over from the McCarthy era! He thinks a rear view camera as a sinister plot to get us looking only ahead, then when we're all comfortable they can sneak up from behind and take over the country.
And besides, my Dad takes great pride in how he can drive in reverse and parallel park. And for the auto makers to take away acquired skills that he was the best at (self proclaimed) it is just another step down that slippery slope to Communism. 'Everybody will back up the same. No looking to the left or right comrade, just straight ahead.'
Even now in his later years, when turning the ole noggin hurts, he still manages to parallel park and back up expertly. Partly due in fact to his ability, especially when younger, to turn his head around like a Barn Owl. I swear he could just about see the drivers outside side mirror turning his head to the right (if you you drive on the other side of the road from North America it's to he left).
In his younger years he was THE authority on how to park in a linear fashion and would teach others his skills. Whether they wanted it or not!
"Come on ya clown, you could park an 18 wheeler in that spot! Crank the wheel harder! Straighten out! Yer too far from the curb! You call that parallel?" Facts, directions and questions all voiced by my Dad to teach and direct others the fine art of parallel parking. All hollered out the drivers side window from as many as ten cars back. Lord help the guy that might hold him up in traffic to parallel park.
As kids growing up in the sixties we had free run of the back and front seat of the car (if mom stayed home). It was the sixties there were only two seats, even if the car held eight. Parent discipline and Dad backing up both started out the same way. The car would stop and then his huge right arm came back over the back of the front seat. Every time the car stopped my three brothers and I hit the floor. We'd be on the floor looking up at his huge hairy knuckles while his head turned past center of the back of his neck. It was like some horror show! Ahhhhh! Dad's backing up!
I think if we'd of had back up cameras back then, and if Dad would of used them, we would arrived to Sunday School looking a lot neater for sure.
Dad figures he'll make use of the screen used for the back up camera in his new car and hook it to TV channels. But after some thought he decided against it figuring all the TV that that screen would get would be behind the scenes coverage.
"But Dad!" we pointed out, "It would be behind the scene coverage of what the communists are up to."

Bob Niles