Why Did The Little Girl Cross The Road?

Why Did The Little Girl Cross The Road?

She screamed like a little school girl (cause she was) as she dashed back across four lanes of early morning traffic, trying again to avoid the creepy would be, or could be attacker.
Two minutes earlier.
I was standing out in front of my house waiting for my buddy to pick me up for work. It was early. About 7:15 on a cool morning in October. I like to be early for everything I do, including waiting to be picked up. Gives me a chance to look at the birdies, smell the early morning freshness and listen to the neighborhood as it starts another day. I stand right at the curb so my buddy can just pull up and stop so I can quickly hop in, as I live on a busy 4 lane street.
I was looking at my abode noting that the front door should really be painted, when I realized something just didn't look right. Something about the front of the house looked off. Different. Something missing..... The hose! Someone had stolen the hose right off the front of my house! That hose wasn't a year old! One hundred ft. of hose with a nine pattern spray nozzle. (Picture me angry and confused here)
Well, there was nothing I could do now, my ride was coming. Besides, even if I reported to the police what could they do? Bring over a pile of green hoses so I could identify mine. Probably don't have a pile of green hose recovered from criminal master minds anyway. What to do? What to do?
I was pondering this question as I stood right by the curb facing traffic when I heard the tiny beep, beep of a car horn. I looked to see a car had stopped ( not my ride) and the driver was motioning me to cross. He thought I was standing by the curb to cross. I politely waved him off, but again he gave me the universal sign to cross. An open hand lateral motion softly pushing the air to the side. Again I counter with the universal sign that I'm just standing here thinking, and I have no intention or need to cross the road at this time of day. I turn my head back and forth and with open palm upright, twisting, like I'm wiping poop off a screen door (it could happen). He won't move! Now the driver in the next lane has stopped as well!
Crap!...I cross the road. It was just easier. Easier and more polite than doing anymore universal sign language cause my next hand signal wasn't going to be nice.
Now to the screaming school girl. This happens a little quick here so stay with me.
She was walking about half a block down the road when I had crossed over to her side of the street,.......and stood there. Creepy right? So creepy, that as soon as an opening in traffic came she crossed the street not ten yards behind me. The very same time I crossed back across the street to catch my ride. We got to the opposing curb about the same time. Okay she was quicker, but I was carrying a hammer and drywall axe for he job that day. She no sooner had her one foot touched the curb when she did a 180 and headed across again. Screaming, as I said, like a little school girl!
At this point I had not totally taken in what had just transpired, and to why her reaction. Whats her problem, I was the one who had a hose stolen here, not her.
It took a few seconds for my un-caffeinated brain to process what had just went down. And at that point I was hoping my ride got here before the police did. The ride one out. He stopped I got in, he asked me "How's it going?"
I said "Good! Did you see the game last night?" Cause that's what guys do.

Bob Niles


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