Fwd: The Front Door is no Longer Needed

                              The Front Door is no Longer Needed    

(a conversation between Bob and Jim)     

Bob:  "My husbands home! My husbands home! she yells as she runs down the drive to meet the mailman. She's waving her arms all excited that I was leaving late for work that day."
Jim:   "What was that?...I was putting the lawn mower away."
Bob. "Our mailman Brad, I was going to mention how the family will miss him. He's been doing our house for...?.. about a year before Darren was born. And. Now with home delivery to stop...well I won't need a mail slot in the house anymore."
Jim:   "No I guess not. Soon to be quite the business I guess repairing that air vent in all the homes. Just let me water these begonias and will go in."
Bob:   "Mail delivery has gone the way of milk delivery to the home. What's next the daily paper? Just turn off that light at the front door because it's no longer needed. The once welcoming front part of our house with it's well lit broad walk leading to it, that suggested success, is now an echo to a brief past."
Jim:  "There that should do it, all watered. Come on inside.
Bob:   "Think about it, who now needs a front door? Who needs an elaborate front entry? Nobody answers, or goes through their front doors. Gone is that Avon lady, all put together just so, knocking at your front door. And you looking like Mrs. Cleaver, draped in pearls welcoming her into your modern home."
Jim:  "Who told you I dress up like Mrs. Cleaver?"
Bob:  "Ha Ha! ....it was Bill from hockey.......You just going to wipe your hands on your pants? Could you at least look a little professional and wash em? That whole 'WELCOME' door mat is a thing of the past. People don't entertain at home anymore, homes are too small and close together. So the people you'd like to welcome, you don't. And you have to agree with me here, when theres a knock at the door right away you get defensive. Who's There? They use to say that in the old days, then we stopped for 50-75 years and now we're back saying it again. You don't want people knocking on the house unless it's expected. A knock means somebody wants something."
Jim:   "You Know I Can't Hear You With The Water Running."
Bob:  "I GUESS IT WAS DOCTORS that stopped home delivery first. And now we have to go someplace to get our mail. They should put the banks of mailboxes in pizza and Chinese food restaurants. So when you order home delivery for a pie or the No. 5 with egg rolls you could tell them to bring your mail when they come."
Jim:   "Good idea! Have a seat."
Bob:   "A home use to be where all the neighbourhood kids played. Some had messy unkept yards,  with bikes and half finished projects spilling out their carports. Some neighbours were loud and got a bad reputation for being so. Every house was different,  people expressed their own individuality in colours and  styles. When it would be resold it would still keep the name of he first owner. 'Hey do ya know the Johnstons house where the Kilmeners live?.....' Houses were individuals that had their own character. Now we've made them boxes of isolation to fit our own attempt at isolating ourselves, via computer from society. Hiding our secret lives from judging eyes of society, letting us be the wrong we are. Houses hold secrets. BROO-HAHA!"
Jim:  "Could you just lay back and do a little less talking."
Bob:  "........... ........The postman doesn't ring twice, he doesn't ring at all! Bit by bit we've successfully turned our homes into castles. Fortress all the same colour lined up in a row. Fenced for protection.  We don't leave doors or windows open, we lock them from all who would dare approach our perimeter. That Brad and his bag of bills and shiny pamphlets, entering my property, inserting whatever he liked  into my home. I think I'm glad he's gone! Oh sure it's great how Brad has taken a real liking to Darren, but he brings no letters from grandma or strange Aunt Fizzy. There's no envelopes for birthdays or Christmas in his daily delivery. It's all junk mail!"
Jim:  "Is it possible for you to open your mouth without speaking?"
Bob:  "Now with the government making home mail delivery a thing of the past they have allowed us to continue on to or final quest of total isolation. That strange weirdo living alone on the mountain top isn't such the nut we all thought him to be...is he? He's now us! A house now, is just to sleep in, and if you're lucky you'll bump into another family member if they're back on day shift."
Jim:   "We'll that's a thought....not a good one, but, it's a thought.  What say we ask you to open wide, maybe look around, see what you've been up to?"
Bob:  "No problem! Just stay out of my computer, phone, medicine cabinet, under the bathroom sink, garage, bedroom drawers and...?...between the mattress."
Jim:   "No Ramblin Rose, open your mouth, without talking, let me look for cavities, your teeth, dentist, got it. Unlike you I have something to hide."
Bob:   "Wwwwhh laaatt wwwaass nnnaaawww  nnniiicccce...."
Jim:   "Okay now you're talking sense."


Bob Niles